What did the explorer say to the new species Oh look it says squirtle let's call it squirtle Oh look it say woof let's call it poochyena

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What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

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What is blue and not heavy? Light blue!

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Carl has 300 candy bars. He eats 295. What does Carl have? Diabetes. Carl has diabetes.

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A guy was beet by his wife.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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Have you ever tasted Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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When Kylie and Conner have a baby he will have a centimeter Schmeter!

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know whats funnier than 24? 25.

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I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

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Roses are red, violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't you worry I'll be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.

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Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

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Your existance.

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What's brown and sticky? The stuff that comes out of your anus

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whats the difference between my mom and your mom nothing they are both sluts

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A black man, a mexican, and a muslim all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? Who cares!

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Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

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a black man and his girlfriend are in a car, who is driving? the cop

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Why didn't Jimmy ever get his butt of the couch? His butt was nailed to it and he was also dead. Why didn't his parents save him? they died before he did.

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Why couldn't the black man participate in the running category of the Olympics? Because he had no legs, he was referred to the Special Olympics, instead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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