What's brown and sticky? The stuff that comes out of your anus

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Your existance.

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Roses are red, violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't you worry I'll be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.

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Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

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Why didn't Jimmy ever get his butt of the couch? His butt was nailed to it and he was also dead. Why didn't his parents save him? they died before he did.

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a black man and his girlfriend are in a car, who is driving? the cop

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Why couldn't the black man participate in the running category of the Olympics? Because he had no legs, he was referred to the Special Olympics, instead.

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Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What happened to the deaf, dumb, and blind kid? I don't know. Niether does he.

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A man walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "Are you smelling me right now?"

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What's black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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what do you call a blonde with black hair? Artificial intelligence

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Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

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What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

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What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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what did the anorexic girl eat today? nothing..

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops