A retarded man speaks jibberish, because he is retarded

Why was Sally gone for her father's birthday? She went on a camping trip with her friends. Sally's friends were brutally murdered and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper cut off her arms and legs and left her in the middle of a suburban intersection late at night. The autopsy revealed that Sally died from blood loss from losing her limbs. It also revealed that she had contracted a fast growing tumor in her brain which would have most likely killed her within days of the murder anyway. Her family was living in the country illegally so her DNA did not reveal a computer file of her person. Her parents were not informed of her death for years because of this. When it was determined that the victim was the parents' daughter they were arrested for living in the country illegally and were not able to have a funeral.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It would be unlikely for any entity of this time to speak English and communicate with chickens so it is improbable for one to know the answer.

A man knocks on a wooden door. A woman says who is it?

How did the old man feel when he couldn't have sex? Viagravated

There's a fine line between hyphenated words

Why'd the man walk his dog His pen ran out of ink

In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

Knock knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Aww, don't cry!

There were three men standing outside. They were enjoying the nice weather.

What do you call Mary in a wheelchair ... virgin mobile

What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

Bags of delicious poop.

identical jokes get different votes.

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead.

Your friend is so gay that he isn't attracted to hot women

what happend to the kid standing on a railway, he got hit by a train

why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

What's the only thing a Black Hole can't absorb? Nothing. It absorbs everything, even light.

Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window, at the 122th floor of a skyskraper.

Thats what she said......about the project proposal, it was some really valuable input.

tee hee

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...