Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

What did my wife say when I asked her to pick up some milk on her way home from work? OK

My parents died!

A blind was staring at a girls ass. Her boyfriend promptly bludgeoned the man unaware of his illness.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

What did the white guy tell the black guy? You are my equal and, as such, are entitled to the same things I am.

Why did little Billy fall off his bike? Anwser: because a refridgator hit him.

What is Corey Jacobs favorite kind of sandwich? Big Jumbo Kahona Burger!

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

I ran in to Hitler. "Hey, Hitler, what's up?" I asked. "Well, this time I am going to kill 6 million Jews and 2 clowns." "Two clowns?" I ask. "Why two clowns?" "See!" He exclaimed. "No one cares about the Jews!"

I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

Knock Kock Who's there? Boo Boo who The ghost from Mario

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the poll booth to vote on a law restricting the questioning of chickens destination and furthermore to let chickens cross with out ridicule.

A black man and a mexican are falling off a cliff. Who lands first? The police officer.

Ask Me If I'm A Piece of Bread Are You a Piec--- Nope

How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

Q: what's red, green and goes over 100 miles per hour? A: a frog in a blender

Q: "How does a monkey hide in a jungle?", A:"Paint its balls red and sit in a cherry tree" , Q:"What is the loudest noise in the jungle?", A: "A native picking cherries"

8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

What is the difference between a black man and a sofa? A black man is a human being with feelings, while a sofa is an inanimate object that people sit on in order to enjoy comfort and possibly watch television.

I hate it when people talk about concentration camps... my grandad died in one He fell off the guard tower

When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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