Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

Two twins are born only a minute apart. There is a mistake at the hospital and they are seperated. Years later they reconnect on Oprah and realize they do not have much in common.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

I had a really funny joke about a dead baby...but I threw it out

How many of amanda todd's frinds does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question, she doesn't have any

Q: How do you make scrach paper? A: Take a paper and scrach it.

whats black and white? a zebra

Q: What did the blonde woman say when she got slaped by her friend? A: Ow.

Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

Want to get shot? Go to Virginia Tech. Too Soon?

Have you ever tasted Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

Transgenders! More than meets the eye! Transgenders! Girl was once a guy! LGBTs wage the battle to destroy The homophobic forces of Christianity! Transgenders! Homos in disguise!

Helen Keller went to town riding on a pony she stuck a feather in her hat and called it uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

A black man, a mexican, and a muslim all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? Who cares!

yo mama is so dumb, she got all Fs on her report

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

Roses are red Violets are blue I have down syndrome duh dusfy druah

Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

What's brown and ryhmes with snoop? Dr. Dre

What do you call an asian woman with one leg? By her name.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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