Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

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Lucas talks to mom she says hi

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Why Couldn't the pirates see the movie? Because the mall strictly enforced local curfew laws ; and one of the pirates was unable to provide a valid form of identification.

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What do a van and a pencil have in common? You can write with both, except with the van.

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What made the lady dance? Bandz!

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Womens' sports

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What's red and sticky A DEAD BABY

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Me: You want pie? You: Yeah what flavour? Me: Pie flavour.

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NAACP

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The joke below this comment is stupid. Lets go Mets

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what did the kid say when he didnt see the ice and sliped and broke his arm ouch that beep hurt

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Do you know what the meaning of life is? Of course you don't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

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Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

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whats long and stretchy? elastic

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BOB:john John:what? BOB:4:59 seconds to get rid of it

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

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Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

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Several men are in a bar a tall white man named James orders a round of shots for all of the people they all have a fun time untill James gets into a car with Derrick who is not sober they drive right into a sick childrens hospital and cause many frantic wild fires throughout the town. They all end up in jail for an unrelated cause

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue. Wouldn't want to be caught in the crossfire.

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yo momma so fat. that shes fat

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me!! .... me who? Just open the motherf***ing door!! MOM!?! Theres a rapist at the door. MOM: No Jimmy, thats your father

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops