What did one Stoner say to the other? "I'm hungry, let's order pizza."

i have read and agree to the terms of service

What's the square root of everything. F**K LOGIC

What's worse than waking up with cancer? Waking up dead.

What do you call a man who eats another man? An man eater.

why was the boy lonely? his whole family died in a plane crash

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

Q: How did the woman die in the black neighborhood? A: She suffered a fatal heart attack while visiting one of her friends. Everyone mourned their loss.

There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

?J?o?k?e?

knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

How do you kill a black man? feed him mayonase

what do you do to gay guy who wants to have anal sex with you? beat him with a steel baseball bat in his face.

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a load of bread.

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? " Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

If you had to go blind, would you go blind? If you said no, then you are wrong. You had to go blind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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