Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

thumb_up thumb_down -34

If a quiz is a quizical then what is a test? an Exam.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A bartender walks into the man and the bar said nothing because it was inanimate.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

why did the physics major drop out of college? because he stumbled onto a finding that made him contemplate life so much that he needed to go to africa to study where the source of the finding where he later caught AIDS from an infected village person, he was later flown back to the US where he was cured out of a miracle but later hanged himself because he was not allowed to go back to africa and find out the meaning of life.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did a vampire climb Mount Everest in the middle of the night on his birthday in September?

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Jeremy has 8 apples. Susie has 3. how much does Jason have? Purple because aliens don't like grapes.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

How do you drown a fish? You can't , it is physically Impossible to drown a fish. because they have gills, so they are able to breathe underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What did the Catholic Priest say to the little boy? May God be with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What did the boy with no srms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why are black people so good at basketball? They practice.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What happened to the boy who ditched his friends and lied to them...? His appendix exploded.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

thumb_up thumb_down +43

kieran scott has a huge back

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's the difference between a Jew and a Generator? One powers your house...and then there's the generator.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's worse than a fly in your soup? Getting killed in a plane crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops