A guy walks into a bar. He then comes home at 4 a.m. to beat his wife.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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Why wasn't the black man allowed on the golf course? Because a wealthy business man had rented out the entire course for a very important international investor.

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

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What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

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What is the difference between a baby and a rat? I don't have a rat in a cage

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. And you said you'd never forget.

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Knock knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? NOTHING, because NOTHING rhymes with orange!

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he was mentally handicaped

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Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have AIDS we're dying together

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What's a fun thing to do on a plane? Make a bolt to the pilot, smash his brains in with a iron pipe and make the plane plummet a few hundred feet with a maniacal laugh until you wake up from your dream and scream at your mother to wipe you.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

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Why did the fat man hit the ground before the skinny man? Because he jumped first.

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An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

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What's the square root of 6739472? Who gives a f***?

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Q: why did everyone on the ship drown? A: Because the ship sunk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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