Knock Knock Who's there? Interupting cow Interu--- MOOOOOO!!

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Ok, I have a knock knock joke for ya.......you start.

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Don't make my new Nazi friend upset, or he'll be Fuhrerious

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What's worse than a shotgoun to the balls? Nothing.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a fish? one is a human being while the other is a fish, what did you expect?

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A horse walks into a bar... just kidding the doors were to smal.l

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If You Bend Over Some More I'll Eat That Booty Too

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What looks red and smells like barf? Depends on how you look at the situation.

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An Afronaut

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What's little and very sad? A 5-year old locked in a cage.

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I walked into my sister's room and slipped on a bra..........it was a boobie trap

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What's black,white, and red all over? Nothing, because if it is completely covered in red then it can only be red.

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Q: whats worse that sucking at piano A: the world blowing up

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A blind man walks past a fish market, pauses, takes in a big sniff, and says, "Good morning ladies!" to the women walking by wearing too much perfume.

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

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If a man is alone in the woods and there is no one there to tell he's wrong is he right? If a tree falls on a women.... Before we tell the rest why was there a tree I the kitchen?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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Q: Why did the duck eat some grass? A: because we are so careless that we caused global causing the entire pond to shrink to a size where it cannot raise a family and the fish could not prosper so the duck could not eat what it had forcing it do consume an inedible substence causing it to die because is not a natural part of a ducks diet

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dildos are red, vaginas are blue, mother, what have I done to you?

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What did your mother say after I beat her? Nothing, because she was dead.

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why did the man get ran over by a turtle? he crossed the STREET

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Your Momma is so fat when she pressed "up" on the elevator it went crashing down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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