I walked into my sister's room and slipped on a bra..........it was a boobie trap

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What's black,white, and red all over? Nothing, because if it is completely covered in red then it can only be red.

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A blind man walks past a fish market, pauses, takes in a big sniff, and says, "Good morning ladies!" to the women walking by wearing too much perfume.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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If a man is alone in the woods and there is no one there to tell he's wrong is he right? If a tree falls on a women.... Before we tell the rest why was there a tree I the kitchen?

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dildos are red, vaginas are blue, mother, what have I done to you?

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( . Y . )

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What did your mother say after I beat her? Nothing, because she was dead.

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Who did you see last night? Nobody, no one wants to see you.

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why did the man get ran over by a turtle? he crossed the STREET

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Your Momma is so fat when she pressed "up" on the elevator it went crashing down.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a baby? Humans don't eat babies, other than a Cannibals because some tend to eat babies.

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What amusing anecdote did the Department of Educational Dictations officer tell his coworker? There was no amusing anecdote. DED men tell no tales.

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What do you call a black man on your front porch? -Racism is a serious and non humorous problem.

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MOOOOOOOOOOO

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A priest, a pedophile, and a child rapist walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

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what do dead babies and turkeys have in common? you eat them on ocasions

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Q: you know whats a good movie? A: twilight.

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What's more fun than a negative pregnancy test? Nothing.

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why did the chicken cross the road. to get to the other side. but it didnt. ROADKILL

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get mowed down by a tractor

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What do you call a clock that has no sense of time? .....Broken.

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Is everything funnier when u have a vagina.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops