how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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My parents have an open marriage.

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Q: What did the littl boy with cancer get for christmas? A: Nothing, he didnt make it that far.

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What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and chickens are from a different phylum, they are genetically incompatible.

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what did the guy say to the other guy? nothing because right before he was going to say something he was hit by a truck and got knocked out for 11 hours and right before he was going to wake a plane crashed into the hospital and everybody died except for two gay guys.

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So, how 'bout that airline food?

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Penis

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What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

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Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it was dead, thus incapable of independent movement.

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A Cadillac Escalade ran off a cliff with 4 black man in it. What's wrong with this? The Cadillac could hold 6 people.

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OHIO DRIVERS.......THAT IS ALL......

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A platypus walks into a bar, and was the only mammal in the building capable of laying an egg.

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a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

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Why was the presidential candidate sad? He mother was raped on her way to hear his speech and his brother hung himself in his apartment two days earlier.

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If you peel my skin off, I won't cry, but you will. What am I? A human being with a high pain threshold.

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What's worse than the holocaust? An open-minded black man.

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Last night, I went fishing, caught a fish, brought it home, grilled it, ate it, and went to bed.

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chuck norris's daughter lost her virginity but he got it back

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i stole a monkey from a man in a yellow hat his name is george now his name is i hate you

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What's worse than seeing 5 dead babies on the side of the road? Realizing slavery is banned after buying a perfectly good young black male for a reasonable price at your local walmart.

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? The same amount as white people, stop being racist.

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what do you call an arse bandit? lady gaga's tanning salon attendants 3rd cousins dog chauffeur, roberto

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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