The air is green The grass is blue I'm bot stoned.. I'm just high

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Two farmers are sitting in a cold field. One asks, "Cold day, isn't it?" The other farmer doesn't respond as he has been frozen to death and because of his death, he is unable to respond.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

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How do you blind fold an asian? Dental floss!

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-Knock Knock ~Who's there? -It's your mother ~Go away

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A man walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "Are you smelling me right now?"

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What did the boy do when he ran out of Pringles? He killed himself.

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

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MAGHBERRY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? William. William who? You friend...William...you invited me over.. Can I come in?

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why did the chicken cross the road because the farm is across the street from were it is now

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The more I learn to understand myself, the more true I am towards my values the less human I feel. The irony is, that there will always be other humans feelng the same.

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What did Britney Spears say to the Mexican? Hit me baby Juan more time.

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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A young child drops his ice cream and began to cry. Why are you crying asks his mother Because I dropped my ice cream said the child

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Why was the American patriot sad that Bin-Laden was killed? Because he wanted to take him back to America to touture him.

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how do you make time fly? throw a clock out a window.

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What's the difference between your cat and mine? Yours has legs.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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