Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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Okay, one second.

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Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

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Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

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Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? The trip to find a blonde wig suitable for a snowman, especially if you are picky and have a certain wig in mind, generally takes up more time than not searching for a wig at all.

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Why do females have boobs? So they can breast feed their babies.

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whats yellow? lots of things.

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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A possesed goat: "moo"

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Yo Momma Is Soooo Fat She Is Highly Obese

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What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

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I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

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How many fat Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! I won the battle but lost the war: I'm Donald Trump!

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How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

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did you know, that a Bear has 42 teeth? massive erection.

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Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

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two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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A buddhist,islamist and a prohibitionist walk into a bar.

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hi

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra!

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What did Mars say to warn Prehistoric Earth before an asteroid hit it? Nothing, sound can't travel through space, it's a vacuum. The dinosaurs will be missed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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