Shush girl, shut your lips do the Helen Keller and advocate the rights the disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses aren't Red and Violet aren't Blue, do you know why i even like you

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If you go to an animal shelter to get a pet god, you may be dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

yo momma is so fat that she got diabetes and lost her legs

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's sad about a dead person? He was my friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Paul Walker cross the road? He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walked into a bar owch

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a gathering of Asians? A chinkfest

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? One, men will screw anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's who? Knock knock!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the Middle east send Doris a camel's penis? Because Uncle Monty's head was damn tasty

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whys the Elephant afraid of the mouse? i dont know im not an Zoologist

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is yellow, has wheels, and lays on it's back? A school bus after a traffic accident

thumb_up thumb_down +4

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A ginger was with his friends

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the computer crash? it didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Once upon a time, there was a ghost. The ghost was sneaking up on a little girl when she turned around and asked the ghost "Are you a stalker or something?" The ghost, unable to reply (being a ghost) was then kicked in the shins. The End!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops