What's the difference between a murdered baby and a dead baby? Not much

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A duck walks into a bar. the manager kicks him out considering animals are not allowed in the bar.

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you were so loud you woke helen keller up!!!!!!!

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Do you like fish-sticks? Love 'em. You like putting fish-sticks in your mouth? Yeah. What are you, a gay fish?

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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A man walks into a bar and says he has a talking dog. He is then taken to a mental hospital and diagnosed with schizophrenia.

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What do Helen Keller, Stevie Wonder, and Ray Charles have in common? They were all mentioned in the previous sentence.

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Did you hear about the guys who wanted to go to Hawaii??? They didn't go!

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A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

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wht does a blonde do with a box of crayons? eat a taco.

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Where does a successful black person live? Neverland.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are many things that could be considered worse than finding a worm in one's apple. In addition, the matter of better or worse depends upon the point of view of the person in question, so what is worse than finding a worm in one person's apple may be preferable to finding a worm in another person's apple.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Meals on wheels - eat up!

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Where can you find a good lawyer? At a reputable law firm.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

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A black van approaches a small boy. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

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Why do Asian Women have small boobs? Because anything under A is unacceptable.

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Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

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A plane full of atheists, with one Christian, crashes into a field over Ohio. Everybody but the Christian dies upon impact. Amazed, a news reporter on the scene of the crash, asks the man, "How did you suvive this tragic event?" "I had a parachute." Responds the man.

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Justin Bieber walks out of a closet.

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Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

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What's worse than dying in the holocaust Dying on the last day of the holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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