Three blonds walk into a bar ... They said ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red Violets are blue You're adopted and Santa Claus isn't real

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What was the last song those aboard the Titanic sang? "Staying alive"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Did you hear about that superman guy? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the blind man die? He had eye surgery and the doctor told him when he first opened his eyes there would be a very bright light, turns out he also had alzheimers and wandered onto the train tracks

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you get when you cross a man and a horse? Collision

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar and orders a sprite. Everyone in the bar looks and him funny and then laughs. He then tells them, "I would rather satisfy myself with a cool lemon-lime drink than put the poisonous toxins of alchohol into my blood stream."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is worse than reading an anti-joke relatively similar to the other? Walking in your front yard and realizing a zombie is eating your dead grandmother.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo mama smells so bad that she has no friends and killed herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the frog cross the road? because he was attached to the duck

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC. I can't walk or talk, and I'm a Stephen Hawkings

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a quadriplegic person in the water? One should refer to them by their name, but seeing as a quadriplegic person would be incapable of swimming if you do see a quadriplegic person in a body of water you should seek help or call emergency services.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I like my coffee like I like my women..... Without Hepatitis.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock. Who's there? Robert. Robert who? Robert Anderson.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

,try this on a girl, say "can I pop your cherry.........soda bottle cap off your cherry soda bottle?"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the man die? he was shot

thumb_up thumb_down +9

i didn't listen to a word you just said but...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Pokemon are fictional, therefore Pikachu is fictional, meaning he would never be at a bus station in the real world at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! *GAUH* Your face looks tasty!! :D

thumb_up thumb_down +9

It's about 3 days from Mother's Day. What do you get her? Nothing. Nothing is a very powerful thing. hehe thats what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call when you see a man murder 8 black guys? The police.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops