Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

What do you call an indian driving a plane? A pilot.

What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

Q: If you see a gipsy drowning, what will you throw him?! A: His family.

Whats worse then getting shot in the leg? Getting shot twice in the leg

"Is the Pope a Catholic?" Yes.

What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Finishing the wheelchair.

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

OHIO DRIVERS.......THAT IS ALL......

What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

Jesse is so fat, his weight on his scale says " hahaha gotta love childhood obesity"

What happens when you step on Jupiter? You cannot.

What do you call a person with a cane? someone with a walking disability

why couldnt the kid get off the couch when his mom asked him to? he was paralyzed

A man's car broke down on a lonely country road in the middle of a stormy night. Spotting a light in a farmhouse nearby, he made his way there through the mud and driving rain, and knocked on the door. The farmer who lived there answered, and said what while he didn't have any room in the house, the barn would provide shelter and warmth until morning. Thankful for the hospitality, the stranded man made his way to the barn and made a place to sleep in the hay. As the lightning flickered outside, briefly illuminating the barn's interior, he noticed knot-holes in the wood of the stall walls, and the hoses of a milking machine laying nearby. He then fell fast asleep. The farmer woke him up in the morning, and together they rode on a tractor to the road to make the necessary repairs to the man's automobile, but only after enjoying a country breakfast prepared by the farmer's wife and lovely eighteen year old daughter.

My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

Meanwhile, at La'kaneisha's family reunion, they had a great time eating caviar, steamed lobster, and rare bull testicals.

yo mama has one big titty and one small titty and the call the bitch paul

What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

I just witnessed a horrible accident today! It was like a silent movie, but with SOUND!!!!

Why did the Hispanic man have no job? Because we are in a recession, and work is hard to come by in this tough economy.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

DID YOU HEAR THE FBI INVENTED A TELEPHONE THAT THEY CAN USE TO CALL THE DINOSAURS? ITS TRUE! Them DAMN DINOS REFUSE TO PICK UP THEIR CELLPHONES THOUGH! Nero: This is not completely accurate though, a T-Rex called us twice actually, but he just kept roaring, making communication impossible... ...That sad moment when you post a totally non ofensive joke, then to tell you that I might your father, me or one of the sixthy guys that bukkaked your mother which was sucking off a dog and... Anyway problem solved!

What do you call a black pilot? A niigger

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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