Your mama is so ugly. But she is still a respected member of the community

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Which is the rarest animal in the North pole? The Polaroid.

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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What's big and white?

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

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why was the spoiled girl running from her parents? because they weren't her parents, they were kidnappers and were going to sell her into underground sex trafficking markets where she would probably spend the rest of her life being a slave.

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What doesn't kill you makes you injured

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what do you call a white and black girl 69? ying yang

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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guess what chicken butt

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If it wasn't for my horse I'd never go to college.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to his mother's funeral.

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Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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Two elephants are walking down the street. They have already killed 12 people including 11 children and their foster parent.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What do Connecticut school kids get at Christmas? Shot.

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What did Steven Hawking get for Christmas? ------ ------ ------ A bike.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Q: How Do You Stop a Bus? A: Pull the Brakes so it comes to a absolute stop.

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What do you call an african american child that hasn't eaten in a week? hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops