A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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raisin boogers

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What did the guy and girl do at the wedding? Nothing, The guy is gay

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

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What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

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whats the difference between a black man and a terd ? one is a black man the other is a terd

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

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Why did the 6 year old girl go to therapy? Because her step dad raped her.

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple All of the antijokes about it

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Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

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why was the blonde fired from the factory? she ate the maneger's fingers.

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What's black and white and read all over? A lot of things.

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Whats worse than finding a giant spider in your bedroom? Loosing it...

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Who?

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Yo momma is so fat tat people yell TAXI, TAXI when she wears yellow.

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My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

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Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles read? Because they are blind you racist.

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YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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