Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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whats red and and has 202 legs? an ostrich, ok i lied about 200 legs and the red part

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q. What does physiks sound to most of the people? A. There were two camels, one was green, how much does the sand weight when its dark?

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Q. How many babies does it take to paint a room? A. Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

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Why do all the Republicans hate Obama? He's a Democrat.

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How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

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your moms soooooo FAT that she went on a diet and became really sexy

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Hey I just met you, and this seems crazy. I have Alzheimers... Hey i just met you.

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How old is george washington? anyway thats not the point your pregnant

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

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Why did the boy take the train to school? Because he lived quite far away.

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What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

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So like i was like 3 and I was like stupid or something I was only three, come on! three

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Why didn't the business man ever wear pants? He didn't have any legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for him. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed Nextel to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

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#Hanging Degus

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

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what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

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Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

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Why did Mufasa miss his doctor's appointment? Because he was trampled to death by wildebeest

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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