why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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Miley Cyrus.

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A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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