Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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sexual intercourse.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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The Olympics

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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