A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

thumb_up thumb_down +201

What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

So you there Red?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

thumb_up thumb_down +21

PENIS THAT IS ALL!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

thumb_up thumb_down -1

My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops