Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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So you there Red?

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

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How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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