What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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The Olympics

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

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So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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How are you this morning?

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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