Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

Yes.

What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

what is brown and shaped like a tree?

Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

black people. that is all...

Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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