Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Simon says; "You're adopted."

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Guy 1: Ever heard of Ethiopian food? Guy 2: No habla espanol... Guy 1: Oh....

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

thumb_up thumb_down -53

A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -123

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +147

What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops