Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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Yes.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor? -Cody Williams

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

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What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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