You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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PATHETIC

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A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

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Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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