A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

What's worse than being a Packer Fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... oh, wait....

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

what sucks? things that suck

Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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