Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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what sucks? things that suck

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Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

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what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

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What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

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whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops