What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

thumb_up thumb_down -179

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

?"what's up" "A preposition"

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +38

When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

thumb_up thumb_down -12

my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops