How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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Dont look at me.

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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Why did the black man shoot the white man? The white man was a prison escapee attempting to perform hate crimes toward African Americans by reforming the KKK. The black man was also schizophrenic.

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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