What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

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What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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banana

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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