A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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Why did the moron jump through the window?

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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