What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

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What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

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Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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