Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

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Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a nigga!

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

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Bob fell off his roof.

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

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ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

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Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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What's worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke? Your family being massacred in front of your eyes.

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The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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