Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

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Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Society.

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

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What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

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A woman's opinion

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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Why is your face? Because.

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Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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