What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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It’s dead.

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Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

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What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Yo mamas so fat, that I need a new pair of sunglasses.

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What's the difference between mustangs and dead babies I don't collect mustangs

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"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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i hate anti-jokes ;)

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What does 1+1 equal? 2

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Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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