How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

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I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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Yo mama is so fat!

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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A man walks into a pole.

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obamas trench

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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Why did the black man rob a KFC? He was in a very difficult financial situation and was worried his kids would go homeless. After scouting various locations he found the security at a nearby KFC was non-existent.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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