Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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4 is half the number 8 is.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

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What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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