I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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a black man jumps in a pool.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm color blind.

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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What has feathers, and is known to fly? A bird

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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