Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

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The Olympics

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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whats purple with fur?nothing mammals cannot have purple fur

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

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A horse walks into a bar why the long face? I have aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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