Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

Miley Cyrus.

HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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