Fifteen out of twenty therapists is great, but five are left out.

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What did the cop say to the man arrested for speeding? You were going over the speed limit sir, I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that.

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so i was F***in this guy the other day with my penis.....shit! i mean i was F***in this girl and i jizzed

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Where did Ann go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What hurts worse than a papercut? Divorce.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

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If you play a Justin Bieber album backwards, I swear you can hear satanic messages... but even worse, if you play it forward, you hear Justin Bieber.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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What's worse than taking a bite in an apple and finding a worm in it? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.

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What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

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How many fingers do u have? 11 Start with left pinky count 10,9,8,7,6 then 6+5=11

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What was Billy for Halloween? A pirate

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

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Why wasn't the man talking? Because he was sleeping.

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I didn't choose the thug life... I got a job.

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The more I learn to understand myself, the more true I am towards my values the less human I feel. The irony is, that there will always be other humans feelng the same.

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Why did the first elephant fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? It was tied to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? PEER PRESSURE!

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MAGHBERRY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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why did the dog bark at the picture because it was ugly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops