A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

Why are small clowns and baby's alike? They both dreadfully die when hit in the face with an axe!

Q: Why didn't the little boy get his bike for christmas? A: He died from cancer

Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

Women's rights

When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

With the exception of pigs, both pigs and blue jays can fly

Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

Little kids wear superman underwear. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.

What did Batman say to Robin before going into the Batmobile? Get in the car.

Where do cows go for entertainment? Nowhere, most are slaughtered, processed, and eaten by humans.

Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

Chikin nuggets are cooler than your mom!!!!!!!

Whats the best way to get to a girls heart? A knife.

If you're having Kony problems, I feel bad for you son. He's stolen 99 kids and your posters saved none.

Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

Obama

Joe: it says gullible on the ceiling Jack: yes, I wrote it -by Ross

Paragnormal Activity: The confused sequels. My wife literally had an heart attack 5/5! -Awesome reviews. I am going to need therapy for the rest of my life! 5 out of 5 stars! -Star reviews THIS MOVIE KILLED MY DOG! 4.5/5 -Petlovers I literally died! 10/10 -Rotten Potatoes.

Two guys walk into a bar. The third guys ducked.

What's the difference between a bird and a fish ? They're both different, except the fish.

What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

~Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was dead. ~ ~Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was stapled to the monkey!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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