A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

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TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A WOOD

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a chicken An animal cruelty charge

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What's black, white and red all over? Half a penguin.

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What happens when a blond walks into a bar She buys a drink

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Brad Fuller!

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what happened to the kid who didn't get what he wanted for his birthday? He committed suicide

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Roses are red Violets are blue I had sex with your mother

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If the camel has seven toes and the armadillo has thirteen, why does your mom pleasure herself to a picture of George Clooney ?

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How did the fat guy die? After an autopsy, it was discovered he was unaware of his type 2 diabetes and therefore did not treat it

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I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

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A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

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What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

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What did the Crippled Orphan get for Christmas Cancer

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Help I'm being raped!

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What's worse than a Holocaust in your apple? What.

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What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

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What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

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Isn't everyday "black tie optional"?

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Johnny had 50 candy bars. He ate 45 of them. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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Is your refrigerator running? no then your food is probably beginning to rot

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what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

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Q-why did the dog run away? A-he was Michael vick's dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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