What did the fat guy say after his weight-reduction surgery? I'm gonna sue the clown pants out of McDonalds

Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

What's woman spelled backwards? Sandwich-maker.

Two men walk into a bar. The first man says, "I'm Japanese!" The second man says, "I'm Japanese too!" The bartender says, "I'm also Japanese!" The bar was in Japan.

"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

Will nearis is here! Get it

Your momma is so old that she might die soon!

Why didn't the Mexican have car insurance? Because he was 12 years old and didn't have a car so he had no need for car insurance.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

Roses are red violets are blue this is an anti joke so like this

What's sad about 4 people in a Lamborgini going over a cliff? It was my car.

Knock Knock. Go Away!

What do grizzly bears and people have in common? Neither can survive in outer space, due to depressurization, lack of oxygen, and absence of basic survival needs.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a dog

A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

Whats worse than a rotten tomato. a fridge hitting your baby.

Q: What did the passengers think of thier Chineese bus driver? A: They were very pleased with the bus driver's service, for he was a very safe driver and got them to their destination on time.

A blinde and brunette are stranded on an island. They are never found and starve to death.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having your entire family killed in a car accident

What's better than winning the Paralympics? Having legs.

Why was the blonde girl stupid? She had suffered sever brain damage the previous month and was still recovering.

I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's raape?

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? The president. -Harrison

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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