How do you give an 80 year old man a heart attack? Hold a gun to his head

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Why is the wimpy guy so strong and angry now? Because he took steroids.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family LOLOLOLOLOLOL

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What Did Charles Manson Do For a Klondike Bar? He Bought One

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - I am. - I am who? - You are Steve. - Indeed.

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Chuck Norris can cook ramen noodles with a microwave.

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How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

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Whats up with your nan? Copious amounts of lsd

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10inch nice

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what do you call a man with no friends? it's because of all the wear and tear that's done to the socks being thrown in her, and she desanitizes only the nun with no forebeard

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Women's rights

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why did little Hannah not like the poem "Roses are Red" because she was colorblind

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Rebecca Black starts to sing a song, and when breaking out into her annoying chorus, we realize that it's not about the days of the week.

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when your cable is on the fritz, you play video games instead. when you play video games, you get good. when you get good, you go to COD XP. when you go to COD XP, you lose to whiteboy 7th st. when you lose to whiteboy 7th st., you get into Skyrim. when you get into skyrim, you reenact cut scenes from skyrim. and when you reenact cut scenes from skyrim... ...you take an arrow to the knee... ...don't take an arrow to the knee. Get rid of cable.

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A man walks into a music store and hears dubstep playing in the background and he says, "Ugh! I hate dubstep!" Suddenly the clerk gets extremely offended and says, "Haters gonna be gay!" The man chuckles at the clerk's remark and shakes his head. "No no no silly," He said. "Haters gonna not be deaf." He says shaking his head as he walks out. The clerk tries to elaborate on what the man meant, but he realizes he cannot hear his thoughts.

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What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

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what is so fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? There is a high possibility their breasts have developed, thus equaling more pleasure for you.

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Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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What did hitler say to Osama Bin Laden? Nothing they were born at different times

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why do rednecks wear big belt buckles? it's a tombstone for a dead dick:)

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Why was a member of the KKK laughing at another member who was his friend? Because he had just divorced his black wife who he recently found out that he had received AIDS from.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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