How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the sign say? It said slow down

thumb_up thumb_down +15

One day a farmer was planting his crops. All of a sudden he was hit by the magic school bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldn't the kid eat candy? He had diabetes, so he could put himself in danger and possibly result in death which would leave the family torn apart and all committing suicide in a matter of 10 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a chicken walks into terry's house he penetrates himn

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was Jessica sad? She had just recently run over a few newborn puppies with her car.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

never bring a knife to a gun fight. bring a sword.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

96

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Timmy say when the bus crashed? Nothing, it was a horrible crash, he died like everyone else. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Timmy.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do u call a black person by his name

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Nero, please cut the bull, I know you work for the feds, you are involved with the FBI, I know, but its not my problem, I just do not like you lying to me.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

hahahahaha thats not funny

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why wasn't jimmy at Paul's party? He died in a fatal car crash and flew out y The windshield and landed in boiling oil then a dog ate him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What does a Jew and an oven have in common? Bagels.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mom is so stupid she makes stupid people look not stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops