What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

Q: Whats the worst thing to drop in a prison shower? A: An exploding nail gun

There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

What do you do when a dog chews your pen? Use a pencile instead.

Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

What did the black man do with the white mans stolen bike? He returned it after finding it outside a local shopping mall.

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was something of interest on the other side.

How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

A redundant man walked into a bar. He sat down, and unfortunately, we learn 5 minutes later that his wife died.

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

Jane asked her husband why he was crying, he replied "Because i have extremely agressive cancer" hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....Cancer

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because due to the crashing economy he feels the need tom travel far distanced for work and food to support his growing family, this causes him to take dangerous routes of travel through hazardous areas with fast moving automobiles that potential have the chance to kill or severely Maine the distressed chicken. Not only does he have to cross these roads twice a day he is also under the added pressure of many millions of people questions why he takes such chivalrous actions to save the his future descent and the steep decline in the population of chicken.

When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was assaulted. The other, witnessing what he'd seen, developed a harsh stereotype.

Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? The joker was raping robin too hard

Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick.

Why did the mexican cross the road? His drugs were on the other side.

why did the man hit the flight attendant? Im just kidding he didnt.

What has three eyes, scales, seventeen stomachs, and can produce milk? Nothing. Nature has not yet evolved any animal to these specifications.

Why didn't the black man eat lunch? Because his lunch asked him not to eat it.

why did the plane crash the pilot was a loaf of bread

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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