whats long and stretchy? elastic

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There are two men waiting in line at the supermarket. One of the men reaches forwards and taps the other one on the shoulder. He says, "You dropped your wallet.". He picks up his wallet and both of the men continue on with their day.

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Why did the mean have to clean up the mass amount of dead bodies? Because he lost a game of rock-paper-scissors.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? You've already seen this joke at least SIXTY TIMES on this website, so you already know.

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a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

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what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

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Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

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Why did the little girl drop her school books? A kid jacked her in the head with a brick.

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Two blondes walk into a building......you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

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Anti-Jokes are the bomb .org

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What is black, white and red all over? Many things.

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fduck

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what did the cheese say to the other cheese nothing cheese can't talk

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Who invented the Iceberg Salad? The Titanic

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A: What's worse than two dead babies lying on cement? B: The Holocaust? A: Yeah or something like that

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How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None they just beat up the room for being black

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Why wasn't the old woman sitting on the porch? Because she got raped by a big scorpian.

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A seal walks into a club.

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It is Scientifically proven that, if you have a shower in china... you get wet

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Why did the Romans conquer everyone? They were power-hungry.

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Why did the blond girl get fired from the M&M Factory. Becouse she removed all the W's

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Roses are red Violets are blue The more you know

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a korean man with no legs sits on a porch. He has no legs so it's considered standing

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Q.why did the woman die A.she left the refrigerator door open then left the kitchen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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