What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being in an abusive relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: How did Mary get frostbite A: Her mother locked her in a freezer

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Paul Walker cross the road? He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the armadillo fall off the cliff?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why do Christian protest against gay marriage? They protest because they believe gay marriage is a sin.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: why did the pie cross the road? A: Pie is not a living thing and has no way of transportation, therefor the pie did not cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the Mexican Have for Thanksgiving Dinner? A Turkey you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a train? Because she was blind, deaf, and most likely uneducated in the field of train conduction.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got hitted by a drunken driver and died last week, when he was cycling to school.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A comedian walks onto the stage. Antehumor.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An early jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a cold chicken? A Raw Chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Who's there? The IRS. You've been convicted of tax evasion.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I think everybody ought to have a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What was the last thing Batman said to Robin before they got in the Batmobile Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down +3

John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill? Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? Mud slide What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill? Jailbreak

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

ring ring,Who is? you'r face.you'r face how?you'r but hole face.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a blonde prostitute your bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops