If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

whats white and looks like paper paper

Whats the best way to get to a girls heart? A knife.

hy-way is-way is-thay oke-jay pelled-say eird-way? ecause-bay its-way in-way IGLATIN-PAY

Isn't everyday "black tie optional"?

whats black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down the hill. what black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him.

knock knock whos there boo boo who why are you sad my wife has cancer

roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

There were 2 drunk men. Man 1:im planning to buy the world. man 2:you cant. man 1:why. man 2: cause im not gonna sell it.

life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

What do you call a pile of dead children? Home

Where did Little Sally go after the bombing? Everywhere.

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo

You wanna hear a joke? Me too

What did Timmy say when the bus crashed? Nothing, it was a horrible crash, he died like everyone else. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Timmy.

Whats 10 times worse than a war? Ten wars.

Wanna hear a joke? Yes Then go on the internet and find some jokes.

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No Neither have I

Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

What did the Dragonfly say to the Mosquito? Nothing. He ate it.

why can't James swim at 2010 summer ? because james died at 2009

GINGERVITIS! 1. redhair 2.freckles 3.no soul 4.depression/anger 5.gay JLR

Please? No.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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