How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

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josh roberts got the d in geog

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What's worse than having to tie one of your shoelaces after walking 5 miles? Getting a 56 year old mixture of blood, urine and sperm injected in your asshole.

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Q: whats a bunny's favorite music genre A: smooth jazz

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A man is driving down a back country road in an old beat up car going 30 mph when he notices a black horse and a white horse keeping pace with him. They keep up with him for a few miles before passing him and turning into a farm on the road. The man is quite impressed with the horses speed and follows them to the farmer and offers the farmer living there the horses in exchange for the car. The farmer says the horses are bad luck but accepts the trade, and the man walks off with the horses. The man then enters the horses in a big horse race and puts a lot of money on them. The horses immediately take the lead and are about to finish the race when the black horse trips and the white horse goes back to pick him up and end up losing. The man is furious and returns the horses to the farmer and gets his car back. The next day another man is driving in a nicer car down the same road going 50 mph when the black horse and the white horse run right past his car. Impressed with the horses speed the man trades his car to the farmer who warns him about the horses. Ignoring the farmer's warning the man enters the horses in a new race. The horses once again take the lead and are close to finishing first and second when the black horse trips and the white horse goes and picks him up again once again losing their lead. The man angrily returns the horses in exchange for his car. The next day a third man drives down the same road in a brand new sports car. While he's testing the limits of the car the horses catch up to him and run with him. Surprised by the speed of the horses the man speeds up in his car but the horses manage to keep up. The horses eventually run past the man and turn into their farm, and the man looks down and realizes that the horses had been running faster than 120 mph. The man goes to the farmer and offers his car in exchange for the horses. The farmer accepts but gives the man the same warning he gave the two men earlier. The new man just like the other two men ignores the warning and enters the horses into a race and bets a lot of money on them. This time the horse take the lead out of the gate but feet from the finish line the white horse trips and falls. The black horse seeing this goes back and helps him up once again losing the race. The man is disgusted and releases the horses into the city in hopes that they'll die out there. The two horses are wander into a bar, and the bartender looks at them and says: "hey you two why the long face?"

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What's green and has four wheels? A dolphin. I lied about it having four wheels. I lied about it being green. I lied about the whole thing.

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Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

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Knock knock who's there I killed your family

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because skeletons cannot live on their own and there is no such thing as a skeleton that can walk across roads without muscles.

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what did sandy say to mr krabs nothing squirles are not smart enough to make a air tank and go under water

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A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, you're being audited.

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why did the little girl drown? because she was left unsupervized and had never properly learned to swim. she also had no arms and cancer.

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Q: Why did James cry? A: Because he's an infant and still quite afraid of his surroundings

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Why didn't the man stop at the stop sign? He was violently killed turning at the last intersection

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls don't talk.

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Today my friend was surprised at the black joke I told today, but I can tell that joke because most of my closest friends are white.

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What's the difference between a bird and a fish ? They're both different, except the fish.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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whats worse then girls playing sport ? girls cutting grass

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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