If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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whats the one about not giving a crap? oh yea this one

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My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

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what do u call a apple a apple

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None we have mexicans for that

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have down syndrome duh dusfy druah

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What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

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How do you make a dead baby float? Ice cream, root beer, and a dead baby.

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

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What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

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A white rapper. HAHAHAHAHAHA oh ya he was muslim.

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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whats funnier than a joke? A: a funnier joke

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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Why wasn't the black man allowed on the golf course? Because a wealthy business man had rented out the entire course for a very important international investor.

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What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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