All this fuss about drink driving is a load of crap! I frequently drink and drive, and I've never had an accident, apart from one small collision in which my wife was paralysed from the neck down.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passenger seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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you are driving down the highway, if two birds make a bee then how many pies can fly at once? None because I can't read

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A black guy and a white guy are in a fight, who wins The white guy because they were in a fight over when the black guy was going to die.

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A man hits a woman while driving. Whose fault is it? The mas. He was out drinking that night and shouldn't have gotten in his car in the first place.

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What did batman say to robin before getting into the bat mobile? Don't touch my penis.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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A Penguin walks in to a bar. then he walks out.

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What's white and bobs up and down in a babies crib? A pedophiles ass.

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Why was Little Billy sad? Because he got shot.

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What is the difference between a cow and a human? A lot of things.

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What's worse than biting into a worm and finding an apple? Why would you bite into a worm?

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knock knock hold on im takin a poop!

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What did the mime say to the girl? .......

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Why did the girl scream for help? She was being raped.

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Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

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Is your refrigerator running? No. That is highly improbable because a refrigerator has no arms or legs, also a refrigerator is not a human being, or alive in any manor and therefor cannot be moved with out an external force acted upon it.

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if i had a nickel for every time iv typed an anti joke... i would have $0.15

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kieran scott has a huge back

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What has two wheels and a handle bar? A bike.

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Why did Sally flunk math? Because she didn't achieve the passing grade which is 60 percent or greater. She might need some tutoring in order to master the concept of the lessons to which she has difficulty solving.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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