how did I get in your moms pants. I ripped them off.

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What walks on four in the morning, three at noon, and two at night? A baby with leprosy.

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A blinde and brunette are stranded on an island. They are never found and starve to death.

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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Why did the man cry when he was surrounded by black men? He got a call saying his mother had just died.

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Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

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How do you kill an Asian? Poke him with a large fork until hes dead.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

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Is Charlie Sheen bi-polar? Yes.

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Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih tzu? A new breed of dog.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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why did dominic buy a new speaker on holiday because his parents died and his was at home

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby" "One's fun to hit with a bat and the other One's a watermelon.

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I came to the bar at 7:00. What time did I leave at? There was no clock at the bar I went to, therefore i cannot determine when I left or when I cmae, so my above opinion is clearly incorrect.

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Knock Knock Not Yet

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1-1 was a race horse, 1-2 was one too, 1-1 won one once and 1-2 won one too

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How do you get someone to come out of the closet? Unlock it

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Whats worst than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worst than a pile of dead babies? One live baby under the pile of dead babies.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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How many chinese women can you fit in a car? About the same amount as men.

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why did the f a g perform fellatio? because he was a sick c unt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops