Q: What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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Why was the broom late? Cause he overSWEPT!!! ahahahahahaha!

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Knock knock Who's there? A robber Oh

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A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

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Why is a charlie horse called a charlie horse? Well there was this boy charlie and he had a horse and it died in a fire.

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What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

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What's the difference between a Watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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This one time at band camp....

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Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

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Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

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Two twins are born only a minute apart. There is a mistake at the hospital and they are seperated. Years later they reconnect on Oprah and realize they do not have much in common.

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What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

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Why did the man cry when he went to the doctor? He has a terminal illness progressed to the point of cure and would die in 3 hours.

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you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

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what did the therapist say to the other therapist? WE'VE SAID THIS WAY TOO MANY TIMES YOU SHIT

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops